Elite Dating Apps Are Welcome by Some, Offensive to Others

Bad news for ugly, unsuccessful people: Tinder is no longer keeping up the pretense that they might one day enjoy a quirky romcom relationship with someone from a different league.

Already, a velvet curtain is being drawn around the world's facial one-percenters with the launch of Tinder Select. The Select sub-platform is the world's biggest dating app's entry into the increasingly popular market for elitism.

No one is yet sure what the criteria are for entry to Tinder Select. Some suggest it might be based on your Tinder Elo score, a sort of romantic Uber rating. Those whom Tinder invites to join are apparently allowed to invite someone else. But their invitees aren't allowed to nominate anyone in turn, capping the spread.

As all the hotties get beamed up into a secret champagne room from where the rest of us can only hear the distant tinkling of laughter, it is time to look at the key dating apps doing the bodysnatching.

The League

This should really be renamed the Ivy League. The League synchs with the greatest digital prophylactic of all time -- LinkedIn -- to offer thrusting business-oriented types the opportunity to touch each other's base going forward. It seems to pride itself on having a waiting list longer than Yale: 100,000 at the last count.

Its key selling point is that it finds people as career-focused as you are -- the sort of people who will understand that you can't go to see that German arthouse comedy because Tokyo needs the tort law briefing by 3am UTC. However, its founder, Amanda Bradford (Stanford, MBA), suggests that there is still a glimmer of hope for normies everywhere: "Maybe you didn't go to Oxford, but you started a non-profit to help underprivileged children in Africa and you've run that company from the ground up."

Luxy

Fearing...

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